The Lloyd-Webber Song from "The Now Show" 18/01/2002 BBC Radio 4 [Song starts with synth keyboard and trumpet/horn in C] This is a great big opening song, The kind that Lloyd-Webber writes and arranges, It's actually very tricky to sing, It's got lots of unnecessary key changes [key changes up C->D] There did you spot it, that was one there, We started in C, now we're in D major, This is now pitched uncomfortably high, And I've a horrible feeling it's going to do it a... [key changes up D->E] ..gain. We're halfway through the first song, Already we're running out of ideas, And frankly it's been too loud for too long, So I think we'll put a quiet bit here. [Music changes to synth chello background and harpsicord melody] [Keychange down to C] This is a very simple tune, A truly crushingly tedious refrain, This line's the same as the first time round, This bit here goes up, This bit comes down again. [key changes up C->D] This is a deathly boring tune, No modulation, cross rhythm or surprise, It was written like this to make it easy, For dim american tourists, To memorise. [Music changes back to original tune] Rather than write a song for the end, We'll just do the same tune as the begining, Like stuffing candyfloss in your ears, So it's certain to run for years and years and yeeeeeeeeears.