I'm Mandrake and this freesite is to put you all straight about our great nation: Auztralia, and the vision of our government for a better, safer, Asia.

I'm worried that a freesite: 2nd Renaissance, by Lothar, has painted Auztralia in a bad light and given out a lot of wrong information about the War on Terror. So here's the real, dinky-di, truth about all that, and a lot else besides.

Lothar Doesn't Know Shit

Although I haven't read 2nd Renaissance I'm sure it's rubbish because other people, who would know, have said it is. And another thing, Lothar actually works for me. He's my manservant. So how could he know better than our politicians, and our talk-back radio stars? No, he's just raving on about some rubbish ideas he got by reading books.

He's got a lot of time to read since I casualized his job. He only comes in now when I have work for him, usually Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays; and the rest of the time he has to wait home in case I might call. This casualization is a great innovation that our Chamber of Manufactures picked up from the US. It gives me lots of flexibility in controlling costs and makes me a best practice employer. The only problem is that when he's not working the bugger reads things!

Lothar's Living In The Past

Lothar hasn't caught up with the fact that because Auztralia fights alongside America we have to think more like they do. More than that, we must spell like they spell. You'll notice that I use an American English spell-checker in my writing. Lothar, on the other hand, has published more than 300 pages of 2nd Renaissance garbage without hardly using any American spellings. He's just so behind things.

Our willingness to assimilate US culture, and to roll over and sign an open-ended FTA, has already been recognized. We're valued allies of the US. That's why I've begun to spell Auztralia with a zee. Maybe, someday, Asia will be spelled Azia? As George Bush says, "You're either with us or you're against us."

Auztralia's The US Deputy Sheriff In Asia

It's a great honour for Auztralia to become the Deputy Sheriff of the United States Government in Asia. We have a big responsibility to get stuck in and help America to reform and civilize the place. We're helping to get rid of bad regimes that tell lies to their people and choose military aggression over negotiation.

Our intervention in East Timor was a great success and helped to secure a huge marine oil-field for the Alliance. Not that oil was the main objective, mind. It was good to be able to liberate East Timor and set things up so that its people won't become too independent of us. We need compliant buffer zones to our north to stop those awful, queue-jumping, boat-people from swamping Auztralia. I ask you, what sort of people would throw their own children into a shark-infested ocean?

Flip and Manda are to be congratulated for their staunch defence of our borders and the humane way in which those who slipped through the net were immediately incarcerated in state of the art detention centres, run by our American buddies; and later sent packing, back to where they came from. It's not our fault that al Qaeda was holed up in Afghanistan and the US Air Force had to bomb the shit out of the place. Is it? The queue-jumpers will just have to rebuild their mud huts and clear up the unexploded cluster bombs that the Alliance left behind. If they had stayed where they were, the survivors could have had it all done by now.

Upholding The Rule Of Law - Everywhere

Since East Timor, Auztralia has sent troops and police to the Solomons Islands, to collect and destroy all the guns, and put some rebels in jail. And our police are now in Port Moresby helping the PNG government to crack down on law-breakers there. Over the years, Auztralia has managed to keep PNG dependent on our aid and now they are becoming dependent on Auzzie policing as well. This is a positive, as it provides a further buffer from boat-people from the north. However, there is concern that Irian Jaya and other Indonesian territories remain outside the influence of the Auztralian government.

If you look at the following map you can see the problem.
There are some 200 million people in Indonesia, and another 80 million or so in nearby countries. This means that there are millions of potential queue-jumpers up there, just waiting to sweep down into Auztralia. If that ever happens, queue-jumpers could quickly take our jobs, lower our living standards, and uproot all our rose bushes.

No Non-Aggression Treaty With ASEAN Nations
Wisely, Deputy Sheriff Howard has declined to sign a non-aggression treaty with Asian countries. He's placed an order for 100 new F35 Joint Strike Fighters (JSF) instead. It will cost us Auzzie taxpayers $16 billion to get the strike-fighters from our US buddies, but they will better equip Auztralia for its new deputy sheriff role. And that's central to our alliance with the US.
At any time, our forces might be called on to help the US to civilize one of the ASEAN nations, just like it's doing in the Middle East. All it will take is a phone call from Bush to Howard, and we'll be right into it. The experts can sort out whether there were reasons to go to war after we've won.

Of course, once we've won, the liberated populations (less a few that won't make it through the hail of depleted uranium shells and bullets) will instantly enjoy the benefits of our advanced US/Auztralian culture. They'll have McDonalds and Starbucks on every street corner, access to western music and mega-violence movies, and many other commercial benefits of our 70 years of experience in building free market economies. Rebuilding education systems, restoring health services, and repairing the roads and water mains will take a little longer.

Terror, Terror, Terror !
That's what we're up against in the 21st century. The Federal Government mailed every household in Auztralia an anti-terrorist kit to warn us of this threat. One thing the kit told us is that we must be "Alert but not Alarmed" and we must be aware that terrorists could be anyone on the street. So, we should report all suspicious goings-on to the authorities and their black-uniformed Anti-Terrorist teams.

Hey, are these guys efficient. Straight after the Bali megablast they made a number of dawn raids on Muslim homes in Sydney and Perth. In a flash, doors were smashed in, heavily armed officers forced men, women and children to lie on the floor, the homes were violently searched, and all computers and computer disks were removed for analysis. No time had been wasted in letting Jemaah Islamiyah know that the Auztralian authorities are on their case. Nothing incriminating was found on any of the seized computers or disks, and no charges were laid against any residents of the homes that were raided just before dawn. But we Auzzies all got the message that our guys are ready for anything.

It made us all feel safer. I'm not sure about the Muslims though.

We KNOW What We Know
Most of us Auzzies don't take any notice of the left-leaning, pacifist "information" or "truth" contained in web sites or freesites on the internet. We rely on our common sense and the Channel 7 News. There are some things we just KNOW, and people like Lothar can't fool us into thinking otherwise.

Here are some things we KNOW.

• The Ananda Marga bombed the Sydney Hilton in 1978, during the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting.

• ASIO would never have done it because they always work in our interests.

• Mohammed Atta led a group of 19 hijackers that carried out the attacks on the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon.

• We are helping the US fight the War on Terror because those Muslim extremists (al Qaeda) attacked the WTC.

• Bin Laden is still hiding out somewhere, and the US is still looking for him.

• Amrozi and several others constructed and detonated the main bomb outside the Sari Club in Bali. The device used fertiliser and other commonly available ingredients to create the megablast that killed 202 people, including 88 Australians.

• Amrozi is likely to be executed for his part in the Bali bombing.

• Muslim terrorists are plotting even more terrible attacks on our homeland. So our government has had to introduce new laws that strip us of our rights and privacy.

• But, if we've nothing to hide, we've nothing to fear.

• It's terribly sad, but people are starving to death around the world because not enough food can be produced to meet the needs of the whole population of this planet.

• Energy is scarce and oil is the key to our economic prosperity.

• Fresh water is also becoming scarce and we must expect to pay higher prices for it in the future.

• The way we live now is the way we were meant to live.

• The universe began with the Big Bang, and is presently expanding rapidly.

• Modern science has proved that everything that happens in nature, happens by chance. If there is a God, he is largely irrelevant.

• On the other hand, government, particularly central government, is absolutely essential.

• Without more departments, more programs, and more laws we would soon be forced to fend for ourselves. There would then be nobody to blame for our misfortunes, but us.

• We would be incapable of running our own affairs and lives. So we really need a federal government to look after everything for us. We give them taxes and they give us respectful service and value for money.

• Bureaucrats and politicians are far better managers than anybody in the private sector. Without such talented leaders we'd all be lost.

• Because the Americans halted the Japanese advance on Australia in WWII, they are our eternal allies.

• The people running the US today have the same values and integrity as the US leaders of 1944. Don't they?

How To Hypnotise A Chook
Because I'm a magician and hypnotist I can talk with authority on these subjects. It's my profession, after all. So, let me explain the simple task of hypnotising a chook (or chicken). Hypnosis of humans uses similar principles, but is a bit more complicated, because most people think a lot more than chooks do.

There are several ways of putting a chook under, let's use the straight line method. All one needs to do is draw a straight line in the dust with a stick; make it about a foot long. Then the chook is positioned at one end, and its head is gently lowered until its beak is on the end of the line and the bird is looking along it.

If you then place the tip of the stick on the line, just in front of the chook's beak, and slowly draw it away, along the line in the dust, the bird will focus on the line. Repeat this slowly, a few times, and the chook will become hypnotised and focused on the line in the dirt. It will stay there until you clap your hands to bring it out of the trance.

Note that I don't recommend hypnotising animals, I'm just explaining how focusing attention on something like a line on the ground, or a swinging plumb bob, can induce a trance.

Lothar's Hypnotised Himself
By reading all this weird stuff that he gets hold of, Lothar has focussed on "realities" that hold him in a trance that he can't break out of. Even when he comes to work and I clap my hands, he still continues to disagree about the points above. Most Auztralians know that those things are true, but Lothar thinks they aren't. He's spent too much time with his head in books written about weird science and conspiracy theories.

If you ask me, he's crackers. Of course the way we live now is the way we were meant to live. Aren't we the most highly advanced and intelligent species on earth? There's nothing wrong with our society that can't be fixed with tougher laws and harsher punishments. Wrong-doers, troublemakers, and losers, need to be kept in line and everything will be sweet. Just you see, it will be alright. As long as Howard keeps interest rates down, so I can afford my overextended mortgage; and Manda keeps those queue-jumping boat-people away, I'll vote for them again.

I'm Alright Now
There was a time, just after the Bali bombing, that I was a bit shaken and I wondered if perhaps Lothar could be right after all. But I watched the political gurus and anti-terrorist experts being interviewed on Channel 7, and soaked up what they said. I took it all in, and it made good sense to me.

Then, before I went to sleep for the night, I got out one of the cards I use in my show and held it close to the tip of my nose. So that I could just see the edges out of the corners of my eyes. And I went over, in my mind, what the man from the Department of Truth and Honor had said. And the retired Army guy, and the academic from ANU. I got it all clear in my mind, and now I'm quite alright.

Would you stop clapping in my ear!

I'm not hypnotised. I'm not hypnotised. I'm not hypnotised. I'm not hypnotised. ..... The way we live now is the way were meant to live. The way we live now is the way were meant to live. .....

Note to Readers is Asia:
The character Mandrake is entirely fictional, and based on the comic strip stage magician created by Lee Falk, in the 1930s. Sadly, the attitudes and beliefs Mandrake expresses in this freesite are all too real in present-day Australia. Please go to the link below and download 2nd Renaissance to learn what can be done about it all.

Lothar, December, 2004